Well, Day 19 came and went. I popped a pill and didn’t feel any different. Work was crazy busy as always with me showing no signs of slowing down, so all in all Day 19 was somewhat of an anti climax. Instead I thought I would bring you up to speed on our story.
Chris and I met on Plenty of Fish.com. Contrary to what Chris might tell people about us meeting through a ‘ friend ‘ it was a dating website. We went on a date after talking for a few days and fell in love during a drunken pub crawl around Arundel in the snow. I was a single mum to my then 13 yr old son Hal. I had been on my own with Hal for 10 yrs ( give or take the odd online dating disaster ) and was wary of getting into a relationship at first but Chris was the funniest person I had ever met and the kindest. He stole my heart.
Chris proposed to me in Helsinki during a mini break and I couldn’t say yes quick enough. We married the following year at Christmas. This December we will celebrate our 1st Wedding anniversary.
I knew about Chris being infertile from quite early on in our relationship. He kinda blurted it out one night while we were waiting for a taxi after a concert in London. Lots of alcohol had been consumed and it loosens the tongue I suppose. I didn’t really know what to say, being half cut myself, but I suppose having Hal already, numbed the impact as I had resigned myself to just having the one child now.
Chris had Hodgkin’s Lymphoma when he was at university. By the time he was diagnosed he was very ill and classified Grade 4 ( this is very bad apparently). Intensive treatment had to start straight away and this would leave him infertile. They took some of his sperm and froze it for future use. As he was so ill at the time the sperm wasn’t of the best quality but it wasn’t useless either. Throughout Chris’s adult life he has put having a child out of his mind and told himself it would never happen. That was until we met.
We started to look into the possibility of having a baby using Chris’s frozen sperm before we got married. I gently asked questions and planted the seed ( pardon the pun ) regarding IVF. In my mind it was worth finding out whether there was a chance of us having a baby, a definite yes you can or no you can’t. Once we knew the score we could decide what to do next.
We discovered the Wessex Fertility Centre online. According to there criteria, we would not qualify for any type of funding towards IVF due to the fact that I had a child already. Regardless of that child coming from another relationship and the fact that it is physically impossible for Chris to father a child naturally. Go Figure! So all in all we were looking at somewhere in the region of £8000 for one go! We looked at other options, for example I could rope one of my friends in to pretend to be my lesbian lover because apparently that does enable you to have free NHS IVF treatment, regardless of how many children you already have. Another idea was for me to have a one night stand with a random at our local club, most likely of Eastern European decent. Unsurprisingly, both these options we ruled out.
Once we were married we signed up to the centre and set the wheels in motion. Our initial consultation seemed promising. I have a full hen house according to the consultant, plenty of eggs! I haven’t left it too late ( I wanted to be the right side of 40 ) and all blood tests, thyroid check and hormone levels are perfect. After a nightmare trying to organise the transportation of Chris’s sperm from London to Southampton ( in the end Chris carried the damn freezer through London to get it himself ) and having to postpone the start date as I had too much going on ( in a nutshell, I sold my grandparents house for them, moved them into a new bungalow and during this Grandad had a heart attack ) we are finally underway.
Sometimes I think I must be mad starting again after a 16 yr gap. Hal is 16 now and a fine young man if I do say so myself. But the truth of it is Chris would be the best dad ever. To give him something he never thought he could have is the greatest example of my love for him. When you truly love someone you would give them the world and to Chris his world would be a son or daughter of his own. So this is what I’m going to do.